An Interview with Agent Lieber
by woodley.online
Summary: Manuscript of confiscated interview tape with Agent Stanley Lieber about his history with the agency.


The following manuscript is from an unauthorized interview between an agent and civilian reporter. The tape has been collected and destroyed. It is being submitted as evidence against the agent to the disciplinary committee.

Stanley Lieber and Jacob Kurtzberg were enlisted into the services of S.H.I.E.L.D. from its' inception. I received the chance to interview former S.H.E.I.L.D. Agent Stanley Lieber. The following dialogue, except for the purpose of clarification, is unaltered.

Agent Lieber: Jack and I joined the S.S.R. back in 1947. We weren't there very long but we had a hell of a time. The big thing holding us back was our names. Things weren't so progressive back then. That and we shared an agent number. It was pretty confusing. But when Miss Carter and Howard Stark started up S.H.I.E.L.D. well, we figured, "why not?"

Myself: You shared an agent number? How did that happen?

Agent Lieber: Same way it always does: Bad filing. We submitted our forms at the same time and somebody lost count when passing out numbers. We tried to file for a change but they just weren't very efficient in the personnel department. If Jack and I had worked there, everything would have been great. We had a real knack for organization, though, nobody could figure out how we organized it.

[Both Laughing]

Myself: So you joined S.H.I.E.L.D. Was it a simple transfer or-

Agent Lieber: Well, we were in our twenties, Jack a little older than I was. I was about to get married and my girl said, "Well, if she [Agent Carter] can do it, why not you?" So, Jack and I resigned and Miss Carter, what a doll, she took us up in a heartbeat.

We resigned from the S.S.R. and Stark sent us directions to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s recruiting base. Funny enough, Jack and I turned in our work together and we ended up sharing an Agent number again. Jack and I had grown so used to it we didn't even bother asking for it to change this time.

Myself: And what was that agent number?

Agent Lieber: 616. I know, hard to believe there were that many of us but there weren't much more. We didn't even crack a thousand until Nixon. And, boy was he a monster. He was so afraid of spies stealing information he had goons come in and almost burn the place down. Everything Jack and I ever did, [snaps his fingers] gone in a flash. It wasn't too long after that there was talk of moving to a mobile base. Sure enough by '65 we had a helicarrier. That thing will make you air sick. I preferred the boat. Reminded me of when I was in the war sneak onto enemy beaches.

Myself: Did you work often on the helicarrier?

Agent Lieber: Oh, yeah. I wanted to transfer but Jack loved being there. I couldn't leave him. We worked to well together. Might have been our downfall. Back then, it was mostly R&D and desk jockeys working there. We didn't get much experience in the field.

Myself: Was it close to then you considered resigning?

Agent Lieber: Well I considered resigning a lot but something just kept pushing me to go on. I think it was something Captain America once said at the end of a USO show. It was one of his last ones before he went operational. He waved to the crowd, put on a big smile and shouted, "EXCELSIOR!" It stayed with me.

Even when I was eligible in the eighties to retire, I kept going. I figure it was what Cap would have wanted. I was glad I did and they let me stay. When he came out of that ice and I met him, he shook my hand. Almost broke it, really, but he shook my hand and looked me in the eye and said, "You're a better soldier than I could ever be."

I tried to hide a tear coming out of my eye when he said that. My wife, bless her heart, she told me, "You know, I don't think I want you to retire anymore. Miss Carter had her chance with Captain America but I found someone better." Best day of my life.

Myself: You're going to make me start crying that was beautiful.

Agent Lieber: Thank you.

Myself: Did you ever manage to move up in rank?

Agent Lieber: Well, it was about '95 when I moved up a security clearance to level 4. Most people who got there had been shot at, kidnapped or wounded pretty badly. The fact I did without a single field operation under my belt is a record yet to be broken. Even the R&D guys had to go out at least once to look at, or for, something.

Myself: And how did you get that promotion?

Agent Lieber: I came up with this little idea: A rookie cheat board.

Myself: A what?

Agent Lieber: Well, I lost Jack in '94 so they sent me a new guy by the name of Billy. They sent me him to try to teach him the system Jack and I used. Poor kid, hard as he tried he couldn't quite get it. But he did notice a lot of similar incident reports from junior agents. He said, "Wish we could warn them about this," and the idea struck me.

I posted a bulletin board in the commons area and posted quick memos on notecards about things you shouldn't do. Not rules per se but something to bring a little common sense to newer agents. And some experienced ones, too!

[Both Laughing]

Of course, they updated it to a forum or something on the S.H.I.E.L.D. system but people do still use the board. You'll see some crazy things on there that makes you wonder how we had any junior agents left.

[Both Laughing]

Myself: Really? Like what?

Agent Lieber: Well, one that always comes to mind is "Thor takes his drinking challenges very seriously."

[Both Laughing]

I even made that mistake.

Another one was, "Always make more coffee if you empty the pot. You do _not_ want to know what will happen to you if you fail to do so." I've only seen it happen once. It's been on that board for as long as I can remember.

Myself: Good to see the agents are doing better. How many tips have they left?

Agent Lieber: I don't know. Last time I checked I think it was 570 or something. But the disciplinary committee is happy with the results, except when incidents that were more creative occurred. Everything has a cost I guess.

Myself: Well, I think we have time for one or two more questions. Do you mind?

Agent Lieber: No, go ahead.

Myself: Well, has Billy ever figured out your system?

Agent Lieber: He has, actually. Good kid. Real family man. He told me his oldest daughter is having a kid. She definitely cut it close though. Thirty is a dangerous age to have one.

Myself: Wait, I thought Billy was a lot younger than you were.

Agent Lieber: Oh no, he's almost 60. But the enthusiasm he brings in everyday, he's got more pep than a lot of the junior agents I see.

Myself: Ah, I see. And as for you, still planning on working for S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Agent Lieber: As long as I live. It's like Cap said, "EXCELSIOR!"


End file.
